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Monday, February 21, 2011

Preparation "H" - A Retrospective - A Fresh Look!

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PREPARATION "H" - A Retrospective - A Fresh Look!

Dear Friends and Readers (*which terms are not mutually exclusive):

It is fascinating and ironic that Preparation H, a time-honored treatment for painful rectal issues, has also found a secondary use -- as an ointment to be applied under the eyes to temporarily eliminate the undesirable appearance of bags and rings caused by aging, sleeplessness and living the lifestyle of Robert Downey, Jr.

Because of this new use, it is finding increasing demand, especially in the State of California for those amongst the population who are "challenged" by being over the age of fourty.

By the way, the reason for this wonderful but unforeseen secondary use of the iconic anal ointment is a combination of the ingredients shark liver oil (a bit foul, smelling), which reduces swelling, and certain vasoconstrictors (commonly found in nasal decongestants) which causes the pooling of subcutaneous blood under the eyes to recede and become less apparent.

My slogan, originally rejected by the company in 1970 ("Since we've started using Preparation H, our anus don't pain us no more."), can now be replaced with this one:

"PREPARATION H -  BECAUSE HINDSIGHT IS 20/20".

You're not laughing now, doubters.

Faithfully,

Douglas Castle

p.s. It really works.

p.p.s. This article was stolen, with permission, from Douglas Castle's Daily Burst Of Brilliance .001 Blog, and is made of 100% post-consumer content. It is eco-friendly, and should be recycled (or forwarded, using social media sharing-tools).
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